It was a cool evening breeze flowing when I was standing and waiting for my friend to arrive, who called me a while back, that he will be coming to see me off. The pleasant weather, the cool evening breeze and the fact that I would be embarking on a journey for the next 2 weeks automatically made me hum some songs. And suddenly I saw an ugly looking female looking obnoxiously at me. She was of the impression I am singing it for her, whereas I had not even noticed her and nor was she noticeable.
But her 2 seconds look towards me sent a chill down my spine. I stopped singing and started thinking. I realized, this stranger female, who has nothing to do with me, carries the power to ruin my life and make me enter into any kind of negotiations with her at this moment. All she needs to do is complain against me saying that I was teasing her singing songs.
And the moment she did that, I would become a criminal. No one would listen to me or my side of the story and whatever story she utters becomes “evidence” for the case that would get filed against me. I would have to run behind courts and police stations, first to secure a bail, then to fight the case and to prove myself innocent for a crime I did not commit.
I would have to spend money behind lawyers, beg before unscrupulous and dishonest agents of the legal system, live a life of a criminal, and compromise my entire life at every step and all this because some obnoxious female did not like me singing.
My passport could be seized and I could be barred from leaving the country as well and for all you know I might also grace the headlines and suddenly the whole discussion would snowball into how “unsafe Women are” and how “bad Men are” and so on and so forth the story goes.
Reverse the situation, the woman humming a song and me complaining against her. Immediately, my counselling would begin trying to convince me that the woman’s intention was not bad, and do I consider myself a hunk or a stud that some female would sing songs for me and there would be complete invalidation, dismissal and mockery of my complaint let alone to say the emotional agony I would go through.
However, coming back to the current incident at hand, it sparks a train of thoughts in me,
1. What have we done to the men in our society?
2. How much vulnerable is the common man (the male) in the society?
3. What kind of fear psychosis men are living in?
4. How much undeserving power have we given to women in the society?
5. Where are we heading to as a society?
And when, such is the situation, the statement made by Farooq Abdullah is completely correct and well-placed – “Men do fear of being jailed for talking to a woman”. I completely stand by him and only wish more and more men speak up. The only wrong thing he did was to apologize. There was no need for an apology. It’s high time women learn to take feedback and improve their behavior towards men. We are crossing limits of female pamperment,
The biggest culprit is the media and TRP hungry men like Arnab Goswami.
I want to ask Arnab, who is he to curb free speech?
A man has a right to express himself and Farooq just did that. Why penalize him for that?
Media has no business telling people what to say and what not to say. Their job is to report news; they better stick to that only.
Otherwise, the time is not far when people would stop respecting them. For example, Arnab Goswami, the way he has behaved on news hour on Times Now on 6th December 2013, he has lost the respect of many men in the country. He is now being looked upon as an arrogant, over-confident, non-listening editor who just wants to drive his own agenda in the show. There is a popular saying about Arnab Goswami, he thinks, “The nation wants to know, what he wants the nation to know”. He thinks, he can dictate the thought process of the society with his mannerisms and male hatred.
However, the day is not far when his show “The News Hour” would have a new anchor as Arnab’s high handed behaviour is turning out to be a liability for Times Now.
It's time that the media understands the warning - Mend your ways or pay the price. Stop imposing moral policing onto the society for reasons best known to you. Today, the male is vulnerable and this is the reality. And we all are responsible for this situation.
It’s not a surprise that slowly men will start drifting away from women in order to avoid false, baseless, frivolous and hazardous litigation and social shaming.
The lawmakers, judiciary and the police also have a lesson or two to learn. The famous cases of Tarun Tejpal, Justice A K Ganguly, and Shyam Rajak, the DD Official should act as eye-openers for them. The only solution to this problem is to start recognizing the need for men’s rights movement to be accepted as a mainstream movement and initiate the process of making all laws gender neutral.
Stringent laws will only convert innocent men into criminals and we will see many more Farooq’s asking men to stay away from women for safety. How many Farooq’s are we going to condemn, in order, to suppress such feelings?
Condemning men who express their feelings is a sexist anti-male attitude and should not be encouraged at all. Men must have an unfettered, unobstructed and un-criticized right to express their feelings and if men are complaining about women’s behavior then its time women change their behavior. Shaming and blaming men is not the solution.
This kind of social setup has made men extremely vulnerable and this is not a healthy society to live in. Things must change in the favor of men lest men despise society and women.
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