'Women make things uncomfortable for each other but never accept it'

By Jyoti tiwari 06 February, 2014

Recently a friend of mine got married. I noticed one day that at social networking site all the other (female) friends were suggesting her to start using husband's surname. I know she will do it in sometime and then will blame his man for it. We all women do this, promote the stupid rituals, customs and then blame men that they force us to do it. This is how the concept of "suppressed from ages" developed.



When we look back we see so many rituals which are still prevalent and all women follow it blaming men for it. This is an open secret how women have jealousy towards each other whether it is a relationship of mother - daughter or mother-in-law - daughter-in-law. Out of this jealousy when one woman follows a ritual and sees other woman not following it, she makes her to follow it. And she would say, she followed it because that is what all men in the family want.



For example lets take the example purdah system. We all know why it started. It was not a part of the Aryan or Indian or whatever we say culture. It came from outside and became the part of culture here.



Women started following it to protect themselves. But it is still prevalent because when time changed women didn’t change. The same jealousy factor came in, "if I did it why not she". And today men are blamed for it that they keep their women in “purdah”. It wasn’t men it was women who promoted it by following it ages after ages. Same is with the fasts they keep for their husbands and sons.



When they know it is only for son why they didn’t ever said “no”? No fast in this great culture of India is for daughters. Women started the biasedness among their own children i.e. daughters and sons, because they knew girl child will do nothing for them. Girls are not given responsibility of their parents.



 They keep fast if they have a son and if they have a daughter they will not keep it. How men can be blamed for this? Stop this biasedness and things will change. But women are not taught to take responsibility of their actions so they will keep the fast and blame men for it. Moreover, they will force other women of the family to do it in the name of family culture. Men have zero say in the these small household things.



They participate in all this without even realizing that ultimately they will be only blamed.These rituals and customs are followed not only in rural parts but the well educated women too follow it. Anytime they have this option to say no to a particular custom because it promotes biasedness but they don't do as they need men to blame. I have seen well known feminist writers, writing against “Karwachauth” saying how “sexist” it is. But who asks women to follow it. Other things for which men are blamed are the “satipratha” which was again promoted by women and stopped by a man, Raja Ram Mohan Rai . It was glamourised by women and women who did it were worshipped by other women as “sati mata” so that it can go on and on. The the so called dowry is again promoted by women. There is nothing called "patriarchy" it was all made and promoted by women so that they can enjoy all the comforts of being at home and then cry “patriarchy” when given responsibility.



They wanted men to protect them, pamper them so they kept on doing these fasts and rituals. Men didn’t understand it and just kept on being a part of it so that women should feel good. A man should leave his seat for a woman because he is a man and she is a woman. If a man doesn’t do it he is made guilty conscious.Same is with wearing sindhoor, mangalsutra and bangles; women promote it everywhere.



No man ever asked me why I don’t I wear these things. It was always women who had this jealous feeling that if she is wearing such things then I should also do the same. Women make things uncomfortable for other women but never accept it. They will always blame men for it. Men are suppressed from ages by women and without knowing it they blame themselves for women suppression.



Link 'Women make things uncomfortable for each other but never accept it'