Pune police report that said 74 per cent of rapes since 2008 were consensual sex based on false promises of marriage has divided the city into two factions. One side condemns the police for shirking responsibilty and the other is glad cops are trying to understand why there has been spike in rape cases
Chaitraly Deshmukh
Posted On Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 11:51:46 PM
Neelam Gorhe lashes out against the Pune police at a press conference yesterday while holding a copy of the Pune Mirror’s report on the shocking statistics
A day after Pune Mirror carried news on Pune police’s internal report on rapes that said 74 per cent of rapes reported to them were intercourse with mutual consent, angry womens’ organisations launched a frontal attack on the police accusing them of ‘distorting facts’ and ‘concocting the report to shrug off their responsibility’.
However, Save India Family NGO, which works for men harassed by women, has supported the police and its report. Former IPS officer Kiran Bedi, too, appreciated the police for being transparent.
Founder of Stree Adhar Kendra and Shiv Sena MLC Dr Neelam Gorhe describes the police report as ‘a baseless document’. She says, “I think the police’s conclusions are baseless.
The report uses statistics in a wrong manner and distorts reality. It is a poor attempt to protect the police which has been under fire for the city’s soaring crime graph and increasing gang rapes.
The report should be scrutinised by a third party. There are many loopholes in the report. It is just an attempt to cover up the issue.
That 74 per cent of rapes are mutually consensual sex is an incorrect conclusion because the police has not considered the possibility of the victim giving consent due to suppression or other compulsions.
Moreover, the police report says 70 per cent of victims are underage but does not clarify on whether the percentage is the total number of rape cases or cases which the police term as intercourse with mutual consent.
What about statistics available on the State CID website which shows only in 10 per cent of rape cases is the rapist convicted and in the remaining cases culprits go scot-free?”
Lawyer, Zashi Rani Mahila Pratishthan founder and Maharashtra Navnirman Sena leader Rupali Patil-Thombare feel the report shows the defeated mentality of the police.
She says, “Through the report, the police is trying to convey that both the victims and the police as protectors of the fairer sex are helpless.
What kind of attitude is this? They say only two per cent of the cases are reported immediately but which raped woman would be in a psychological and mental state to lodge a complaint? I feel the police has come up with the report just to shirk responsibility.”
Shivshahi Seva Sanghatna Founder Rahul Borade feels the report is due to pressure on the police and government. He says, “I think the police has woken up from its slumber due to pressure by various social organisations and political parties.
In a knee-jerk reaction, the police seems to have used the data to create a picture that the situation is well under control.
But if the police feel 74 per cent of rapes are intercourse with mutual consent, why do they raid hotels and pick up couples. The police is just feeling helpless and are now indulging in a cover-up operation.”
Denying the charges levelled by womens’ organisations, Additional Commissioner of Police (Crime) A D Shinde says, “We are just scrutinising the facts of the cases reported to us and not generalising it.
Our ultimate aim is to curb rape cases in the most effective manner and we need co-operation from NGOs and womens’ organisations. This is in no way a cover-up operation. We are just understanding the situation in better way so that a strategy and action plan can be worked out.”
Former IPS officer Dr Kiran Bedi, hails the police for being transparent. She says, “We should be thankful that the police is at least trying to strategise after studying the situation.
Their data is based only on legal facts. Law students, psychologists, sociologists and non government organisations should now come forward to analyse the data and work out strategy.
This report draws only broad conclusions. Aspects like delay in filing an FIR should be studied in detail. In India, we do little research on such topics but this would encourage the police and benefit public.”
Centre For Human Right Advocacy president, advocate Rajendra Anbhule says, “The police is not trying to cover up the issue.
The report has been prepared for internal consumption and for the knowledge of police officials on the prevailing situation. From a legal view, the delay in registering the FIR is important.
In rape cases with consensual sex, the victims report to the police after a long time which weakens the case for want of evidence. It would be better to try and overcome the situation instead of arguing about the credibility of the report.”
Anath Hindu Mahila Ashram Superintendent Sharayu Muchalambkar says, “The police is doing a good job. On Tuesday, they organised a programme discussed the issue with us.
Officials have studied the issue and worked out an action plan. They plan to display posters at public places displaying safety tips for women. They are heading in the right direction.”
Mahesh Kalge
Some women misuse law to extort moneySave India Family Foundation (SIFF) and All India Men Welfare Association spokesperson Mahesh Kalge says, “There is manifestation of misunderstanding about the definition between rape and cheating in a relationship. In India, it is common for girls to allege rape after having consensual sex.
In many cases, the girls withdraw their allegations after a monetary settlement or marriage with the man against whom they complained.
Indian laws define cheating in a relationship as rape and men who indulge in consensual sex are branded rapists the moment the women claim it was against her wish. Pseudo women empowerment groups use this legal provision as a tool to extort money.
Sadly, the law gives complete amnesty to women and never punishes a woman for filing a false complainant. Neither the law nor the society is considerate about the reputation of a man who falls victim to such a woman.”
Through the report, the police is trying to convey the message that both the victims and the police as protectors of fairer sex are helpless. What kind of attitude is this? They say only two per cent of the cases are reported immediately but which raped woman would be in a psychological and mental condition to lodge a complaint after rape? I feel the police has come up with the report just to shrug off their responsibility.”— Rupali Patil-Thombare, Maharashtra Navnirman Sena leader
I think the police’s conclusions are baseless. The report uses the statistics in a wrong manner and distorts reality. It is a poor attempt to protect the police which has been under fire for the soaring crime graph and increasing gang rapes in the city. The report should be scrutinised by a third party. There are many loopholes in the report.” —Neelam Gorhe, Shiv Sena MLC and
We should be thankful that the police is at least trying to strategise after studying the situation. Their data is based only on legal facts. This report can be looked at only as preliminary information. More in depth study is needed to find solutions. Law students, psychologists, sociologists and non government organisations should now come forward to analyse the data and work out strategy.” — Kiran Bedi, former IPS officer
The police is not trying to cover up the issue. The report has been prepared just for internal consumption and to enhance the knowledge of police officials about the prevailing situation. From a legal point of view, the delay in registering the first information report is an important aspect. In rape cases made out of consensual sex, the victims report the matter to the police after a long time which weakens the case for want of evidence.” — Adv Rajendra Anbhule, president, Centre for Human Right Advocacy
New Delhi : A person falsely implicated in a rape case should be given compensation and either the court should be empowered to do so or the Centre should bring some amendment in the law in this regard, a Delhi court has said, report PTI.
Additional Sessions Judge Virender Bhat also said that the court could also be empowered to direct the state or the prosecutrix to compensate the person acquitted of the rape charge. “I may note that there is a dire need for provision to be made in the Code of Criminal Procedure (CrPC) to enable the court to direct either the state or the prosecutrix to compensate the persons acquitted of the false rape charges.
“In cases, where the court comes to conclusion that the accused had been implicated on totally false and baseless charges, the accused, in fact, is the victim and deserves to be compensated…caused to him in facing arrest, imprisonment and the ordeal of criminal trial,” the judge said.
“A copy of this judgment be sent to Secretary, Department of Law, Government of India and the Chairman, Law Commission of India for their perusal and consideration,” he said.
Of the 92 registered in Nov last year in B'lore, only 20 cases were found to be true
The instances of misuse of anti-dowry laws have been on the rise in Bangalore of late, according to a study by women’s helpline Vanitha Sahayavani.
More than half of the dowry harassment complaints lodged with the helpline turn out to be mere allegations.
The Sahayavani has been working with the Bangalore Police and has its centre at the commissioner’s office.
“We get hundreds of calls and complaints every day, most of which are pertain to dowry harassment. It is very difficult to ascertain whether the complaint is true or false while registering it. It is only through the counselling we provide in the next few days that we realise the true nature of the case,” said Rani Shetty, the co-ordinator of the helpline. Of the 92 dowry harassment cases registered in November 2013, only 20 were found to be true.
Reasons
Senior police officials say that the reasons for this are varied.
“From what we have understood, a lot of women realise that the laws are stringent with respect to dowry harassment. Many a time, the law gets misused just because the woman wants to get away from her husband or teach him a lesson. This is why, before taking any action or registering a case, we send the couple to the Sahayavani so that the real cause behind the strained relationship is established,” Hemant Nimbalkar, Joint Commissioner of Police, Crime (East), told Deccan Herald.
According to sources in the department, in a majority of the cases, dowry demands are made by educated middle-class families which are well aware of the prevailing laws. “Minor differences” in a relationship trigger such demands and these differences come out in the open during family counselling sessions.
“The idea is to save the marriage to the extent possible. Women bear a lot of harassment and this is, without doubt, the sad state of affairs here,” said Shetty. She added that the police are involved only when the case is ascertained to be that of dowry harassment. The cases of dowry deaths directly go to the police.
In 2013, 49 cases of dowry deaths were registered. This number has been relatively stable in the past few years, with 21 cases each registered in 2010 and 2012 and 53 in 2011.
Police Saturday have lodged a case against the wife and her parents for abetment of suicide on the complaint of deceased’s father.
A 27-year-old man,who had a dowry harassment complaint filed against him by his wife a few days ago,shot himself with a country-made pistol outside his in-laws’ house in Ghazipur police station area late Friday night. Police Saturday have lodged a case against the wife and her parents for abetment of suicide on the complaint of deceased’s father. Police said Nitin Kumar Mishra,who owned a Panmasala shop in Indira Nagar,had married Anjali in May this year. Sub-Inspector Chandrabhan Yadav said the couple had problems in their marital life because of Mishra’s addiction to liquor. Anjali lodged a complaint with Mahila police station,alleging she was being harassed for dowry by her husband and in-laws,Yadav said. Mishra’s father claimed his son took the extreme step as he was being framed by his in-laws for dowry harassment.
New Delhi: Justice Swatenter Kumar, the former Supreme Court judge accused of sexual harassment, has today asked for five crores in damages from a newspaper and television channels which ran details of the complaint against him and named him.
Justice Kumar, who retired from the Supreme Court in December, 2012, has denied the charges filed against him in the top court this week by a young woman who interned with him last year.
While hearing her case today, the Chief Justice of India P Sathasivam asked, "Why did the girl wait for for so long being a law graduate? There are so many retired judges. Complaints can come against them even after 20 years."
The lawyer claims that in May 2011, the former judge harassed her with inappropriate physical and verbal behaviour. She then quit her internship.
The woman has asked that the Supreme Court set up a committee to handle cases like hers of sexual harassment against former and current judges. The top court agreed today to explore that demand though it made it clear that "at this moment we are not expressing any opinion on averments or allegations by the law graduate".
Late last year, in the midst of another harassment case against retired judge AK Ganguly, the Supreme Court said that it would not accept complaints against former judges since it has no administrative control over them.
Shirking from relationships is one thing, getting back on the dating scene after already visiting the altar once is another. There are ways of dealing with divorce and moving on while making the transformation easier. Here's a rundown...
"Even years after my divorce, I felt the emotional scars it left me with and that made it extremely difficult to move on," says Niharika Kadam (name changed), housewife and divorcee of five years.
Divorce is a painful process and needs to be dealt with utmost care. Here is what our experts have to say about getting back to the dating scene after a divorce.
Give yourself time to grieve You don't just lose your friends, but also your identity, social circle and friends if you shared any mutually. "Allowing yourself some time to grieve is essential before you decide to jump back on the bandwagon," says Psychiatrist and counsellor, Surbhi Garg. You may go through the stages of denial, anger and bitterness, so allowing yourself enough time to deal with them is crucial.
Re-discover yourself A divorce provides with a number of opportunities to re-discover yourself and indulge in the things you love. Use these interests to keep yourself occupied and don't fall into a routine of laziness or regularity. Instead, keep yourself motivated and indulge in activities that took a backseat when you were married.
Maintain respect A divorcee goes through countless issues, which may subconsciously project on the new partner as well. Hence, going back on the dating scene should be both a careful as well as premeditated move. Says Seema Hingorany, clinical psychologist and author, "It's important to aim for a respectful ending with your previous partner. Starting a new relationship without dealing with those issues resurrects any buried feelings with the old partner."
Keep space In order to get over your ex, you need to maintain some distance. If you keep in constant touch, you will be tempted to go through another reconciliation. As important as it is to have your peace with what happened, reminding yourself of why it ended is important too. Don't cut off all communication, but give yourself space and distance to move on and move away.
Start dating again "After a divorce, you basically know what you want and what you don't. With that realisation, take the plunge and don't be scared to move ahead. All the issues that you have after your divorce can be resolved with love, compassion and constant positivity," adds Seema.
Children coping with divorce (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)
Times of India
Children of divorced parents are known to have myriad of emotional problems which tend to become a pattern. If research and studies are to be believed, children can lose all sense of security if they have been exposed to the conflict between their parents.
Here are a few suggestions to help your child deal with your divorce.
Encourage your child to communicate Encourage your child to voice out his concern and disappointment instead of cutting himself off emotionally. "Talking about the situation will ease your child's frustration," says psychiatrist Anita Peters.
Have a visitation schedule Allow your child to spend as much time with your partner as he desires. Playdates, movies or other activities which were special to you as a family should not be completely stopped.
Be honest about the situation If you sugarcoat the situation or avoid being honest to your child, it can give way to a potential meltdown in the future. Give your child the space to vent without being apologetic about it and maintain honesty.
Wednesday, Jan 15, 2014, 0:45 IST | Place: Pune | Agency: DNA
Pune police said he had an extramarital affair.
Like a scene straight out of a Bollywood flick, the city police along with the airport authorities hunted down a person at the Mumbai International Airport on Saturday.
The person created a fake account on a social networking site and used it to send lewd comments to his wife, a doctor. He was handed over to the city police on Sunday after a thorough search of two months.
The 25-year-old doctor and resident of Katraj approached the Bharti Vidyapeeth police in October, 2013 after which the case was investigated by the city cyber cell.
A case against an unknown person was registered with the Bharati Vidyapeeth police station on November 13, 2013.
Sunil Yadav, inspector (crime) Bharti Vidyapeeth police station said, “Complainant is a doctor and married the arrested person in 2010. She moved to her parents’ home after harassment by her husband who was jobless. She had not been in touch with him for a year.
“From August, 2013 she started receiving lewd comments on her social networking site. The messages abused her and claimed that she tortured her husband.”
He added, “Complainant approached us and complained about the fake profile. During investigation it was noticed that her husband along with another lady had created a fake account under her nickname and were posting, sharing and tagging information with the complainant’s profile.
“When we reached his place we were informed that he was in Dubai for work. We issued a look-out notice at all the airports in India.”
During investigation it has been revealed that the arrested person wanted to take revenge and torture
her mentally.
Yadav said, “Her husband is in an extra marital affair and with the help of his girlfriend he had created a profile under the complainant’s nickname to defame her image in society.”
राजेश चौधरी, नवभारत टाइम्स | Apr 23, 2013, 05.30AM IST नई दिल्ली: दहेज हत्या के मामले में आरोपी को हाई कोर्ट ने 24 साल बाद बरी कर दिया। आरोपी का केस सुप्रीम कोर्ट तक जा चुका है। सुप्रीम कोर्ट ने दिल्ली हाई कोर्ट के फैसले को खारिज करते हुए दोबारा केस मेरिट के आधार पर सुनवाई का आदेश दिया था। हाई कोर्ट ने अब मृतक महिला के ननदोई को बरी कर दिया। इस मामले में मृतक महिला के पति और सास को सुप्रीम कोर्ट से सजा सुनाई जा चुकी है। जबकि अपील के दौरान ससुर की मौत हो गई थी।
1989 में कमल चोपड़ा ने अपने ससुराल कीर्ति नगर में फांसी लगाकर जान दे दी थी। पुलिस के मुताबिक दहेज के लिए उस प्रताडि़त किया जा रहा था। कमल के पति, सास, ससुर और ननदोई के खिलाफ केस दर्ज किया गया। निचली अदालत ने दहेज प्रताड़ना और दहेज हत्या में इन्हें जेल की सजा सुनाई। मामला अपील में हाई कोर्ट गया। हाई कोर्ट ने अपील खारिज कर दी। फिर आरोपियों ने सुप्रीम कोर्ट का दरवाजा खटखटाया। इसी दौरान मृतक के ससुर की मौत हो गई। सुप्रीम कोर्ट ने मृतक महिला के पति और सास की अर्जी खारिज कर दी जबकि ननदोई के मामले में हाई कोर्ट के फैसले को खारिज करते हुए केस दोबारा सुनवाई के लिए भेजा।
पुलिस के मुताबिक 12 जुलाई, 1989 को उन्हें इत्तला मिली कि कमल चोपड़ा नामक महिला ने आत्महत्या कर ली है। एसडीएम ने मृतका के पिता का बयान दर्ज किया और लड़की का पोस्टमॉर्टम किया गया। निचली अदालत ने चारों आरोपियों को 29 जुलाई, 1994 को दहेज हत्या व दहेज प्रताड़ना में दोषी करार दिया। इस मामले में मृतक महिला के पति वी. के. चोपड़ा और ससुर को 10-10 साल कैद की सजा सुनाई गई। सास शुभाषना चोपड़ा और ननदोई को 7-7 साल कैद की सजा सुनाई गई। इस फैसले को सभी आरोपियों ने हाई कोर्ट में चुनौती दी। हाई कोर्ट ने 2001 में इनकी अपील खारिज कर दी जिसके बाद यह मामला सुप्रीम कोर्ट गया।
सुप्रीम कोर्ट ने मृतक के पति और सास की अर्जी खारिज कर दी जबकि आरोपी ननदोई के मामले को दोबारा हाई कोर्ट में सुनवाई के लिए भेज दिया। हाई कोर्ट में सुनवाई के दौरान याचिकाकर्ता ने दलील दी कि उनका इस मामले से कोई लेनादेना नहीं है। अदालत ने याचिकाकर्ता को बरी कर दिया।
Samanwaya Rautray, ET BureauJan 13, 2014, 04.00AM IST
NEW DELHI: Charges of sexual harassment against two retired Supreme Court judges have generated intense disquiet and unease among the nation's top judges, with some expressing the view that the institution is being "targeted by vested interests in a well-thought-out game plan".
Others, however, said the allegations could not be brushed under the carpet. They said an institutional mechanism needed to be set up to deal with such situations.
More than 10 judges, both sitting and retired, whom ET spoke to, expressed concern over the impact of the charges on the court's reputation. Some saw darker forces at work as in both instances there was a substantial delay before the charges surfaced, indicating motives other than an attempt by the complainants to get justice for themselves.
"The first intern's blog was a little too well-crafted for her age," a sitting judge said. "It was possibly vetted by a lawyer; each word carefully chosen."
"This is a well-conceived plan to target individual judges after retirement," said a recently retired judge, who monitored a CBI probe into a high-profile case of alleged corruption.
The allegations could possibly be an attempt to whip up "public disgust" against the institution to pave the way for the judicial accountability Bill, the judge said.
The complaint against Justice AK Ganguly came into the public domain in late 2013 while the incident allegedly took place in December 2012. Last week, allegations surfaced against the head of the National Green Tribunal, Justice Swatanter Kumar.
Last week, allegations surfaced against the head of the National Green Tribunal, Justice Swatanter Kumar, over an incident that supposedly took place two years ago. Both the judges have strongly denied the charges.
In a legal notice sent on behalf of Justice Kumar to a number of publications and television channels, his lawyers alleged the complaint was motivated by a conspiracy. "The complaint, my client has reason to believe, is part of a deep-rooted conspiracy to adversely impact his handling of an extremely sensitive tribunal and its timing itself is suspect as it comes on the heels of an allegation earlier made by an intern against another judge who has recently resigned."
In an interview with ET in Mumbai, former Supreme Court Judge BN Srikrishna said judges were being "deprived of their constitutional rights".
"The institution is going through very difficult times. Not having a mechanism to deal with these complaints quickly and discreetly is making things worse," said another high-profile judge, who issued a harsh indictment of the government just before he demitted office in 2011.
"The SC could do well to have an in house mechanism to deal with such complaints. But the fear, the danger of harassment (from being at the receiving end of false allegations) is always there," he conceded.
A man sentenced by a trial court to seven-year imprisonment for abetting his wife's suicide due to harassment for dowry has been let off by the Delhi High Court which held that it could not be proved if the victim was subjected to cruelty for dowry.
A bench of justice S P Garg acquitted Ahmed Sayeed giving him benefit of doubt, while noting that "the trial court itself was not sure if soon before death Ishrat was subjected with cruelty for or in connection with dowry demands."
"The prosecution has failed to establish beyond reasonable doubt that there was a direct nexus between the cruelty and the suicide," it said.
The bench perused the verdict of the trial court which said "although it cannot be held that the accused used to demand dowry the circumstances clearly show that accused was dissatisfied with his wife...The reason for his callous attitude towards his wife are not difficult to find, admittedly, the in-laws of the accused were not very well off..."
The HC judge said "the impugned judgment is based upon surmises and conjectures. The prosecution is required to prove the very case it alleges and the court cannot substitute its own opinion and make out a new case."
Ahmed Sayeed was sentenced to seven-year imprisonment for dowry death in June 2000 for allegedly harassing his wife Ishrat for dowry forcing her to set herself ablaze on the intervening night of May 17-18, 1998, within seven years of their marriage while the accused was asleep on the terrace of the house.
Many blame the law student who complained against Justice
Ganguly
By ARCHISMAN DINDA Correspondent
Published: 15:18 January 11, 2014
Kolkata: As the Indian judiciary tries to grapple with another accusation of
sexual harassment, this time on a sitting judge, Kolkata High Court judges and
seniors advocates are refusing to take women as secretaries and
interns.
Many of the sitting judges have already notified the court officials of their
objection of having women secretaries. One sitting judge has even written a
letter stating that unless cameras are installed in his chamber, he will not
accept women as secretaries.
“I am on the verge of my retirement, who wants to get into unnecessary
trouble of having to face such accusation at this old age,” said the sitting
Judge of Kolkata High Court, unwilling to be named.
However, this decision has put law students under tremendous pressure. The
education system expects that a law graduate generally joins a senior advocate
as a junior to learn the modalities of the job. But with such refusals, students
are facing difficulty.
“If we are not accepted by interns just because we are women, then the judges
and advocates are themselves violating the fundamental rights of the individuals
that they are supposed to [uphold],” said one student of National University of
Juridical Sciences (NUJS).
The university officials are also under tremendous pressure, since the number
of female students has increased to an extent that they outnumber males. “If
judges refuse to take interns, then we have a serious problem in hand as many
will have no foreseeable career, since even today the number of practising women
advocates and judges are quite low,” said the register of NUJS.
Many blamed the law intern who accused Ganguly as the principal cause of this
trouble. “She should have made an official complaint to the police. But what she
did was to write a blog which was taken up by a legal online magazine, which
eventually caught the fancy of the media and Justice Ganguly had to suffer,
though till now not even a single police complaint has been filed. She is still
to record her statement in front of Delhi police,” said a senior
lawyer.
However, most believe that this is a passing phenomenon and a knee-jerk
reaction to the recent incident, things will normalise. “Men and women have
never cohabited in an atmosphere of fear and lack of mutual trust. Things will
normalise as the media glare goes away,” said a woman lawyer.
NEW DELHI: The Delhi high court has held that lower courts have "comprehensive" power to alter or add charges in a criminal case at any stage of trial prior to the pronouncement of judgement.
"The court has ample power to amend or alter a charge only with a condition that it should give full opportunity to the accused to make out his defence," a bench of justices Kailash Gambhir and Indermeet Kaur said.
("The court has ample power…)
Referring to a provision of Code of Criminal Procedure, it said, "This section (216) invests comprehensive power in the court to remedy the defects in the framing or non-framing of a charge, whether discovered at the initial stage of the trial or at any subsequent stage prior to judgement.
"If there is any omission in the charge framed at the commencement of trial and the omission is discovered at any time before giving the judgement, that omission can be remedied under this section and an appropriate charge may be framed," the bench said.
The observations came in a verdict on a set of appeals filed against convictions under sections 304B (dowry death) and 498A (subjecting a woman to cruelty) of the IPC in a case.
It was alleged that Yash Jain, along with his parents Veena Jain and Subhash Jain and brother-in-law Prashant Jain, had caused death of his 28-year-old wife Shalu on January 23, 1998, within two-and-half years of the marriage for dowry.
The lower court had awarded life imprisonment to Yash and varying jail terms to the other convicts.
Ordering a de-novo trial of the accused by adding fresh and harsher charge of murder under Section 302 of the IPC, the high court came down heavily on the trial judge for not amending the charges despite having prima facie evidence in the case.
"Even after being empowered with such vast power, we fail to comprehend why such an injudicious approach was adopted by the learned trial court.
"The learned trial court had perhaps forgotten that fair and proper trial is at the core of our judicial system to reach the ultimate goal of dispensation of justice between the parties. It is the first and foremost duty of every court to see that neither any innocent man is punished nor any guilty person escapes...," it said.
भाषा [Edited By: पीयूष शर्मा] | कोलकाता, 12 जनवरी 2014 | अपडेटेड: 21:47 IST
लोकसभा चुनावों के बाद सरकार बनाने वाली पार्टी को दहेज कानून के दुरुपयोग और यौन प्रताड़ना के झूठे मामले दर्ज कराए जाने के मद्देनजर पुरुष अधिकारों की रक्षा के लिए अलग से एक मंत्रालय और राष्ट्रीय आयोग बनाना चाहिए. इस आशय की मांग पुरुष अधिकारों के लिए काम करने वाले गैर सरकारी संगठनों के एक फोरम ने की है.
नेशनल कोएलिशन फॉर मेन (एनसीएम) ने 10 सूत्री मांगों वाला एक चार्टर जारी कर मांग की है कि राजनीतिक दलों को लोकसभा चुनावों के लिए इन पर विचार करना चाहिए. एनसीएम पुरुष अधिकारों के लिए लड़ रहे करीब 50 संगठनों का मंच है. एनसीएम ने कहा कि वे निर्दोष विवाहित और अविवाहित पुरुषों के 'लैंगिक पक्षपात' वाले कानूनों का शिकार होने की बढ़ती दर के मुद्दे को उठाना चाहते हैं.
संगठन के अध्यक्ष अमित गुप्ता ने बताया कि संगठन द्वारा जारी ‘मेन-आई-फेस्टो’ में पुरुषों के लिए मंत्रालय और आयोग बनाए जाने की मांग के साथ ही ‘लैंगिक पक्षपात वाले कानूनों’ को लैंगिक रूप से तटस्थ बनाए जाने, विवाहित पुरुषों द्वारा की जाने वाली आत्महत्याओं की जांच के लिए कार्यबल के गठन और परेशानी में पड़े पुरुषों के लिए एक हेल्पलाइन शुरू करने की भी मांग की गई है.
A news report said that a forum of men's rights organisations have urged all political parties to include in their manifestos the formation of a "men's ministry" and a "men's rights" panel to address issues concerning Indian males.
The National Coalition for Men (NCM) - a forum of 50 organisations fighting for male rights across the country - launched its own manifesto expressing concern over the steady rate of "innocent men" falling victims to "gender biased" laws.
Titled "Men-ifesto", it carries a host of issues concerning males and the need for governmental provisions to address those issues.
The news itself is unusual for common Indians who don't see men as victims in a marriage. Media space is always filled up with the stories that present 'women as victims', but that is not always true as more and more men have been bearing the brunt of anti-male laws. According to a website, www.498a.org, each year nearly 22000 Indian married men commit suicide because of women's atrocities. There are many more websites of Men Rights Oraganisations (MROs) in the country that have been highlighting the plight of husbands in the matrimonial disputes. In the absence of due media coverage, the Internet provided the much needed platform to the MROs to highlight their plight.
The common grudge of the MROs is that Indian laws are gender biased and inclined towards women. Is it true? If one goes by the general perception then the answer is no but if the silent war between the two sexes is scrutinized impartially then it can be said that there are many women, especially in rural India, who need a correct implementation of matirmonial laws to protect their rights and there are also many women, especially in urban India, who have been raping the women friendly laws. Probably this is the reason that the maximum members of the MROs come from urban areas and are well-educated.
Swarup Sarkar of Save Family Foundation says that India is the only country wherein only verbal or written statement of a wife/live-in-partner is capable of spoiling the reputation, career of an innocent man or his relatives.
"Countries like China, UK, USA have gender neutral laws to deal with workplace harassment and sexual violence. All countries treat the atrocities within a marriage under their prevalent criminal laws but in India we have duplicity of laws to deal with matrimonial disputes. As a result the problem has become complicated and moreover, they are being misused by clever women," says Sarkar.
So, which laws are that men say are gender biased? The first in the list is IPC Section 498A, an anti-dowry law, which was inserted into IPC in 1983 via an amendment after many dowry related deaths were being reported in India. It is probably the most abused law. Once, the Supreme Court of India had termed misuse of Section 498A as 'legal terrorism'. After Supreme Court's observation, the issue got traditional media's sporadic attention. As a result, the Malimath committee in 2003 proposed making amendments to this section although such amendments were opposed by women's groups. In August 2010, the Supreme Court asked the Government of India to amend the Dowry Laws to prevent their misuse. In January 2012, the Law Commission of India recommended to the government to make Section 498-A IPC a compoundable (bailable) offence, but the government is yet to act on the recommendation. The grouse of MROs is that men don't have any protection rights under 498A and a wife can go scot free after ruining the social status of her husband, in-laws, and relatives by just filing a false complaint. Men want protection against the misuse of 498A by making it gender neutral. The 2012 data shows that 2.6 lakh persons, including women, were arrested under IPC 498A. Swarup Sarkar says that despite amendment in the CrPC Section 41 that says no arrest without warrant, there is no decline in arrests related to matrimonial disputes. MROs say that police also play a dubious role and harass the husband and his family to extort money.
The MROs cry hoarse that the other weapon in the hands of unscrupulous women is The Domestic Violence (DV) Act, 2005.
Men rights activists say that the law is draconian and gender biased. The provisions of this law state that only woman, a wife or a female live-in-partner, can lodge complaint against husband, live-in-partner, or their relatives of committing violence. Under this law, the violence includes: physical and mental. In other words, a small altercation can be treated as mental violence under DV Act. The men rights activists allege that the clever women are misusing the provisions of this act to grab the hard earned unmovable assets, like homes, of their male partners. The DV Act states that a magistrate may: restrain the respondent (male) from disposing off the shared household, whether the aggrieved person (woman) has legal or equitable share in shared household or not; may direct the respondent to remove himself from the shared household; restrain the respondent or his relatives from entering into the shared household where the aggrieved person resides. Sarkar says that DV Act has become 'Maintenance Law' for women for extorting money. As per the government data, the conviction under this law is less than 1 percent.
Every Saturday evening, Sarkar and other Men Rights Activists meet at the grounds of Patiala House Family Court and give advice to the aggrieved husbands. Their main grudge is that since all the matrimonial laws are highly biased against husbands, so any clever woman can misuse these laws to grab husband's property, extort his money if she doesn't want to remain in marriage. Their demand is to make matrimonial laws gender neutral and punish the guilty who lodges false complaint.
Sarkar says that men's ministry is also very important because 16 crore Indian men are jobless and 1.6 crore men are homeless.
It will be interesting to see whether Men-ifesto manifests or not.
KOLKATA: IPS officer Rishikesh Meena was suspended on Saturday, a day after his wife - an IAS officer -filed a complaint against him for dowry torture.
Meena was recently posted as special superintendent-intelligence branch. His wife, Archana, is commissioner of backward classes welfare department.
Meena is accused under Sections 498A (non-bailable), 494, 497, and 307 and 34 of IPC and Section 23 of Juvenile Justice Act. Home department sources said the 2004-batch IPS officer was suspended after Hare Street police registered Archana's complaint.
Meena could not be contacted and sources at Lalbazar police HQ said he was not in his Minto Park residence on Saturday. Investigators said they were scanning all "related documents and medical reports" in the case.
Archana has complained that her husband, father-in-law and three sisters-in-law tortured her mentally and physically for dowry. Her four-month-old daughter, too, was not spared, she alleges. The IAS officer had filed a similar complaint in 2006 against her husband and in-laws when she was Hooghly ADM. She withdrew the complaint after the couple reached a settlement.
Meena started his career as additional SP of East Midnapore and was subsequently posted as Hooghly SDPO, deputy commissioner-3 Battalion and DC-wireless and Birbhum SP.
Rebecca SamervelRebecca Samervel,TNN | Jan 13, 2014, 01.25 AM
MUMBAI: A family court has directed an executive to pay a monthly maintenance of Rs 20,000 to his estranged wife, who among several allegations had said that he committed cruelty by forcing her to watch pornographic films. The woman also claimed that when she refused to watch such films, he beat her until her ear bled.
Stating that the man had not challenged these facts, the court observed, "It can be seen that the petitioner [wife] has proved her case that the respondent [husband] treated her with cruelty and has deserted her." The 34-year-old woman had filed the petition in April 2009.
She had got married in February 2001 and lived in a joint family. In 2005, she gave birth to a girl. Among the other allegations levelled against her husband, the petitioner had said that she was made to abort on two occasions. She further alleged that her in-laws had demanded Rs 50,000 from her parents and refused to let them visit her until they paid the money.
An executive is directed to pay by a family court a monthly maintenance to his estranged wife who committed cruelty by forcing her to watch pornographic films.
The petitioner claimed that her in-laws had sold her ornaments to buy a flat at Virar, and later threw her and her husband out of the house in June 2003. The couple moved to a house in Parel. She alleged that in 2008, her husband threw her out of the house and she moved in with her parents.
Last week, the petitioner told the court that her husband worked at a private firm in Goa and earned Rs 50,000 a month. She sought maintenance for herself and her daughter. But in his reply, the husband alleged that her "misbehaviour" at his workplace had resulted in his termination, and his monthly income was only Rs 6,000. He told the court that his wife did not "adjust well", wanted a luxurious life, and insisted on flying from Goa to Mumbai, which resulted in him incurring heavy debt. Claiming that his wife, who had done a computer course, was employed, he prayed for dismissal of the petition.
The court said according to the Indian Evidence Act, it is for the person who has the knowledge of the fact to produce the proof. "The respondent [husband] has neither produced his salary certificate nor given his evidence. He has also failed to produce any document to show that his services have been terminated," the court said.
Kolkata High Court judges refuse to take female interns. This shows how the gender biased legislation in the country is creating havoc in the minds of men and how both the genders are feeling insecure about the situation. This article also provides a way out from this situation.
Recently there is a news that Kolkata HC judges are refusing to take female interns. Looks like some of them in fact written a letter stating that unless cameras are installed in his chamber he is not going to accept any female interns.
There are protests from the law students against this decision saying - “judges themselves are violating fundamental rights of the individuals that the judges themselves are supposed to uphold”.
The law curriculum demands that each student be familiar with the modalities of the profession by working under a senior advocate or a judge. Under current situation however they are deprived of this training simply because men sitting at the highest chairs are afraid of country’s gender biased laws that can ruin anyone and everyone. In this scenario the law intern who accused Justice Ganguly of harassment is blamed. Advocates reasoned that she should have raised a complaint with police instead of writing a blog about her harassment that eventually became viral and justice Ganguly had to suffer. Another woman lawyer opined that this situation of fear and lack of mutual trust will go away once the media glare goes away from such crimes.
This case of judges refusing to take female interns is a blatant outcome of our gender biased laws that does not punish the false accusers. So far the sufferings of innocent common men were kept under wraps as none of those common men was powerful enough to be heard in national forums. So these men have suffered legal atrocities silently.
There is a culture developed by feminists that anyone speaking against false cases or punishment of women for levelling false accusations is termed as male chauvinist or misogynist. However, the truth can never be suppressed for long and it is out today. If High Court judges are afraid of this situation how will common men feel safe in India? However a picture is projected by the mainstream media that Indian women are oppressed and violated frequently.
A careful analysis of this situation tells us that in India by making separate provision for Çrimes Against Women is the root cause why such crimes are always aggravated to a higher extent for popular vote bank politics. This had a snowball effect as every political party wanted to gain attention through projecting crimes against women and the failure of the party in power in securing the people who are ‘physically weak’. The only reason crime against children has never got so much attention like crime against women is because children are not vote banks but women are and women consist of 50% votes in India.
Now a section of the population that support these gender biased legislation also demand special protection for them. For instance, in this case advocate who blamed the law intern for writing blog on Justice Ganguly, conveniently forgot that so far when common men were accused they were conveniently slaughtered in public media even without the charges being proven against them.
This situation not only tells us the danger of not punishing the false accusers but also alarms common men in India that no matter how tough the law is, some section of the society will always demand special treatment under the same, while the common man continues to suffer. If a common man is accused of harassment tomorrow, the people who are condemning the victim and media now will demand death penalty then.
Therefore, it is important that we understand the danger of this situation at the earliest and take punitive measures for all false complainants. For that we need strong and effective implementation of legal provisions and appropriate police reforms. That will not only ensure justice for the real victims but will create mutual trust between the two genders. That will ensure true women empowerment and men will not feel insecure about the same.
SURAT: Slapping his wife resulted in death for a resident of Vadpada village in Uchhal taluka of Tapi district in south Gujarat on Friday. The wife's return attack with a stick on husband resulted in his death on the spot. Ironically, the tussle started between the two over cooking of food. The incident created tremors in tribal region of Tapi.
Moja Gamit, 45 and his wife Relvi, 42, were having dinner on Friday when the tussle started. Argument between them started as Gamit blamed Relvi for not cooking good food. Gamit slapped her following heated argument. On being slapped agitated Relvi took a stick lying nearby and hit Gamit on his head.
Just with one hit Gamit suffered severe injury and he collapsed on floor. Family members called for ambulance and during examination by paramedics it was found that Gamit was dead. On being informed police booked Relvi for murder of Gamit and arrested her.
Police sent Gamit's body for post mortem and collected evidences from the residence. The couple worked as farm labour. Bhangabhai, Gamit's father lodged the complaint against her daughter in law. Police are investigating the case. Police will register statements of family members and neighbours to find out more details about the relationship between the couple.
Court grants divorce after wife walks 10 km to avoid sex
By Sunil BaghelSunil Baghel, Mumbai Mirror | Jan 13, 2014, 11.15 AM IST
A family court granted divorce to a man 10 years after his wedding, as his wife refused to consummate the marriage. The couple lived together for just 15 months. The court granted the divorce on the grounds of cruelty, observing it was "a case of total dissatisfaction."
The husband, in his petition, had stated that his wife used to come home in Chunabhatti from a personality development class in Prabhadevi walking. The distance between the two places is roughly 10 km.
He said she used to do that to delay reaching home; and would avoid any conversation or physical contact. She also used to spend a lot of time over the phone talking to her friends or relatives but wouldn't talk to him, he said. "I find that absolute non-cooperation and aloofness in a marriage would certainly harm a good marital tie. It can be believed that the petitioner (husband) must have reached a level of frustration due to the behaviour of the respondent (wife) after he had put in his best efforts to improve the situation," observed Principal Family Court judge Laxmi Rao, while passing the order.
The court also brushed aside all counter-allegations, except for desertion by husband, which he himself had accepted.
The couple, aged 43 and 38 years, got married in February 2004 in Mumbai and started living at the husband's place in Chunabhatti.
According to the husband's petition, the wife was very silent and uncooperative right from the beginning. "She did not share her feelings nor did she discuss anything about her family, work or herself. She gave an impression that she was scared of the marriage," alleged the petition.
The husband then discussed this with her family members, but he was told she had always been like that. He then got her enrolled in a personality development class in Prabhadevi. But she started walking her way back home despite carrying enough money with her.
The wife also filed her reply but the court found that there were inconsistencies in her evidence.
The wife alleged that it was the husband who was not willing to consummate the marriage and that he and his family members ill-treated her and demanded dowry from her.
But the court observed that the wife never made any complaint against the husband or his family members for ill-treatment. Moreover, she never complained to her family members about the non-consummation of marriage.
She also said that she was not allowed to work, despite the fact that she had filled up forms for competitive examinations and received letters from BARC and BMC. The family court found out that this took place before she got married.
The court also observed, that though a couple of her relatives had tried to reconcile the differences, the wife, while giving evidence in court, said the she had lost hopes of leading a matrimonial life with this person. Observing that the couple had lived apart since May 2005, the court granted them divorce.
Why the exes of the wealthy want to get divorced in London
Published: Friday, 27 Dec 2013 | 3:35 AM ET
By: Catherine Boyle | Staff Writer and On-air Correspondent, CNBC
January is famously the month in which more people file for divorce than any other. And if your marriage is at an end, you're a member of the international jet set and earn less than your partner, London seems to be the best place to secure a generous settlement.
The most recent divorce case to hit headlines is that of former Miss Malaysia Pauline Chai, whose Malaysian tycoon husband Khoo Kay Peng is chairman of U.K. retailer Laura Ashley. Chai is asking for £500 million, around half her husband's fortune, in London's courts, but Peng wants the case, which is ongoing, to be held in Malaysia.
Stephen Webster | The Image Bank | Getty Images
There are plenty of reasons why the less-wealthy party would prefer to be divorced in London, and this has led to a buoyant market for family law firms in the capital.
"London's place in the world has meant a lot more work for family lawyers than even 15 years ago, across the income spectrum," William Longrigg, partner at Charles Russell and president-elect of the International Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, told CNBC.
(Read more: How to avoid divorce settlement blunders)
The U.K. courts are more likely to divide assets equally, even if one spouse has brought more financially to the marriage and much harsher on spouses who try to hide their assets. In one famous case, the McFarlane divorce, the wife was awarded £250,000 for life after giving up a career as a solicitor to raise the couple's children. And Heather Mills was awarded secured £24.3 million when she split from former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney.
(Read more:The most divorced celebrities)
The most important factor in London's popularity is the amount of freedom given to its judges to be flexible with maintenance awards, according to a recent study by family law firm Withers.
"The judge can take a lot of factors into account and vary them, whereas in other jurisdictions there's more of a formula for what you can award," Suzanne Kingston, partner at Withers, told CNBC.
In jurisdictions like France and Germany, as well as some of the U.S. states, there is less chance of being awarded long-term maintenance and judges have less leeway in granting awards.
Even when the initial divorce occurs outside London, assets can still be divided in a U.K. court. One of the most high-profile examples of this is the break-up of Russian oil tycoon Alexei Golubovich and his wife Olga Mirimskaya, who divorced in Russia and are currently disputing ownership of a £6.4 million West London property.
London itself has become more attractive to the wealthy – whether they are French fleeing 75 percent tax or Russians enjoying a more cosmopolitan city than Moscow. This has driven up the cost of prime real estate in the city, but also the number of wealthy people resident in London or with a London home from which to launch proceedings.
While behavior during a marriage is not usually a factor in financial settlements in London, British judges do take a dim view of failure to disclose assets. Scot Young, who has been declared bankrupt, found this out to his cost this year, when he went to prison for six months for contempt of court over attempts to hide his fortune. The Young case was notorious for the length of time and money taken to pursue the husband's assets, and concluded in November with a £20 million ($33 million) award to wife Michelle Young – although she claims that her husband is worth much more than the £45 million the judge ruled.
(Read more: Wife calls $33 million divorce payout 'disgraceful')
"There is a saying that "non-disclosers lose" in these cases," Longrigg said.
Still, in cases where assets are believed to be hidden, the poorer party often has to concede that they may never trace all of them, and accept a settlement.
"Quite often, clients are pragmatic about what they can achieve," Longrigg said.
"Pursuing hidden assets is incredibly expensive and, very often, not worth it."
Do not insist on RTI applicants to provide address: Centre
PTI| Jan 12, 2014, 10.15 AM IST
NEW DELHI: Government departments should not insist on seeking address of an RTI applicant if a post box number is being provided to them for communication, the Centre has said.
The ministry of personnel has written to all central government ministries or departments, who act as public authorities mandated with providing information on RTI applications made to them, citing a judgement by Calcutta high court in this regard.
"When the legislature thought it fit, the applicant need not disclose any personal detail, the authority should not insist upon his detailed whereabouts particularly when post box number is provided for establishing contact between him and the authority.
"In case the authority would find any difficulty with the post box number, they may insist upon personal details. However, in such case, it would be the solemn duty of the authority to hide such information and particularly from their website so that people at large would not know of the details," the high court judgment said.
The order had come following a writ petition by Avishek Goenka who sought the court's direction that authority should not insist upon the detailed address of the applicant as and when any application is made under the Right to Information Act.
The interested parties could cause a threat to the activist and there have been past incidents of unnatural deaths of activists in the field, presumably by persons having vested interest to conceal the information that is asked for by the activist, the petitioner had said.
Disposing of the petition on November 20, last year, the court had directed the secretary, ministry of personnel, to circulate a copy of its order to all concerned so that the authority can take appropriate measures to hide information with regard to personal details of the activists to avoid any harassment by the persons having vested interest.
The personnel ministry, which is the nodal department for implementation of the RTI Act, had on Wednesday sent a copy of the court's order to all ministries and chief secretaries of state governments for "appropriate action".
"It is a step in the right direction towards protecting the lives of whistleblowers," said Commodore Lokesh K Batra (Retired), who had in October 2013 brought to the notice of the ministry that public information officers were sharing personal data of RTI applicants with private bodies, thus endangering the lives of information seekers.
Nagpur: The proposed 'Protection of Women against Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill', introduced in the Lok Sabha has been termed as an "anti-men" legislation by a NGO here.
The proposed inquiry proceedings in the 2010 Bill are designed to deny justice to men. The proposed Internal Complaints Committee, as provided in Section 4 of the proposed Act, shall be headed by woman, according to All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA).
Its members shall consist of at least two women employees committed to the cause of women. The term has not been explained in the proposed Act, but in common parlance, it means "a feminist woman". Thus the basic constitution of the internal complaints committee has been designed to be anti-men.
Similarly, Local Committee constituted under Section 7 of the proposed Act is chaired by "eminent woman in field of social work committed to the cause of woman" and representatives of NGOs "committed to the cause of woman," AIMWA said.
Civilized jurisprudence of any society requires unbiased judges, whereas the proposed Act provides of anti-men jury, it said.
No man respondent can expect any justice from such biased jury, where it knows that they hold office because they are committed to the cause of women. "Also, there is a provision for settlement under Section 10 of the proposed Act. A man respondent shall be aware in the settlement proceeding that if he doesn't agree to the settlement proposal by the inquiry committee, the same inquiry committee shall inquire into the charges."
"Thus the proposed settlement mechanism is nothing but an extortion mechanism to rob men of property and self esteem. Such feminist dominated inquiry committee has also been given power to transfer respondent during inquiry. Such power is likely to be used in such manner to deny justice to man," AIMWA Central India chief Rajesh Vakharia alleged.
Further, all proceedings under the proposed Act is treated as secret. No information about enquiry/conciliation proceedings etc can be divulged not even under the Right to Information Act. It is seen that name of complainant/respondent could have easily been kept secret, he said.
Such secrecy has been proposed to conceal the wrong doing and blatant injustice to men by the inquiry committee, he alleged.
AIMWA said that recent development have shown that Right to Information Act has been used successfully by Mens Rights activists all over the country to expose various injustices done to men through other Gender-biased laws.
In order to conceal wrong doings such laws, Section 16 of the proposed Act conceal all proceedings under the Act from the purview of the Right to Information Act. Rule 26 provides that court shall take cognizance under this Act only on a complaint of a woman or committee. Thus, men have been barred from making any complaint against anybody before a court of law for any wrong doing done to them under the proposed Act, it said.
The Bill aims at enslaving men by making them an easy target of extortion and dismissal from service through biased procedure and at the same time deny men any remedy against such wrong doings in the court of law. This is a bill to humiliate men, subjugate men and facilitate ransom and extortion from men, Vakharia alleged.
PTI
First Published: Tuesday, November 27, 2012, 14:35
Bihar's Love Guru Matuknath Choudhary ordered to pay Rs.15,000 per month alimony to wife
Giridhar Jha | Mail Today | Patna, January 11, 2014 | UPDATED 09:36 IST
Matuknath Matuknath Choudhar with live-in partner Julie.
A Patna University professor Matuknath Choudhary, who had earned the sobriquet of Bihar's Love Guru after entering into a live- in relationship with his one of his students eight years ago, has been asked to pay Rs.15,000 per month as alimony to his wife.
Shruti Singh, lawyer of Matuknath's estranged wife Abha Choudhary, said that the court of judicial magistrate Anil Kumar Ram has passed an interim order against the professor asking him to pay Rs.15,000 per month to his wife.
Claiming that her client deserves a larger sum in alimony, Shruti said, " We had sought at least half of Matuknath's salary. He was getting around Rs.44,000 per month as salary from Patna University when we moved the court against Matuknath under the domestic violence Act in 2007," she said adding, " But now, his salary has increased to around 1.25 lakh per month."
Matuknath, on the other hand, expressed surprise over the judgment. He said that the interim order has been passed under the domestic violence Act which had not come into force when the case was filed. " I will move the high court for quashing of the order," he said.
The 60- year-old professor, who is constructing a love school called 'Prem Pathshala' in his ancestral village in Bhagalpur district, said that his wife is alredy earning enough (40,000) through the rent from the house that he built in Patna.
"I had invested all my earnings in that house which I left for my wife. It must be worth 2.5 crore now," he said. After their affair came to be known in 2006, the professor and his ladylove were publicly humiliated and their faces were smeared.
Earlier this year, the university paid him 20.70 lakh as his salaries and other perks for a period of more than five years during which he was first kept suspended and later dismissed from the service on the charge of bringing the teacher-pupil relationship into disrepute by entering into an extra- marital affair with a student.
IPSHITA MITRAIPSHITA MITRA| Jan 10, 2014, 12.00 AM IST
There was a sweet silence in the house. Kids were away for a vacation and the domestic help was out of sight.
I was busy arranging the champagne glasses to celebrate the romantic evening, my wife surfed TV channels in the meanwhile. The moment of 'cheers' was not far away when she shrieked "Arvind, do you remember how much we loved this TV show?"
Anurag was the new husband she had married after she divorced Arvind years back. This inadvertent forgetfulness left the rest of the evening hostage to an awkward silence.
Second marriages in India are ridden with complexities hard to rationalise sometimes. Marrying a divorcee is a tough proposition, but does it always conclude in bitterness?
Trust is the building block of the institution of marriage. Dr. Kamal Khurana, Relationship Coach at Purple Alley Institute of Relationships, Delhi, explains: "In a marriage where one or both partners are divorced, the couple has to deal with blame games, suspicion and contempt."
Research shows that 75 per cent of second marriages can end up with couples seeking another divorce in the first two years. Second marriages are more vulnerable and fall prey to a web of hostility and quick separation.
Things can get worse if infidelity is the cause behind the first divorce. Elucidates Dr Kamal Khurana: "There was a case where the husband felt that his divorced wife wanted to patch up with her ex and was not clear of her emotions for either of the men." The fear of illicit relations born out of dissatisfaction in the second marriage puts the divorced under constant scrutiny of the other partner.
"The present partner in that case suffers from paranoia and an over-possessive behaviour towards the divorcee he/she has chosen to settle down with," adds Dr. Bhavna Barmi, psychologist and marital therapist.
Dumping the emotional baggage
For a clean slate beginning, the past needs to be wiped off; otherwise the marital union stands at risk. Comparisons with ex-partners are detrimental to a positive development of the second marriage. It is not easy to replace a new face with the old, but an attempt to look for similar qualities or traits in your new life partner can be pressing. Dr. Khurana says, "Loving and respecting the individuality of your current partner will help the marriage flourish."
Bhavna Barmi speaks of an interesting case where a divorced man with kids was not ready to marry a divorced woman because he was insecure that the new mother, (p.s. without kids) would not be able to accept his children fully. Says she: "As the man came from the high end of society, he wished to marry someone without marital history, and thought it easy to come his way, thanks to his affluent status."
The apprehension of a past getting carried forward to the present makes a lot of individuals wary of tying the knot with a divorcee.
So are these marriages based on 'love' or utilitarian in character?
Gender psyche is not an easy study. The above case for example shows us men's psyche which fails to distinguish between a wife and a governess. Psychologist Bhavna Barmi and Sociologist Reeta Brara feel that "men are self-centred and more often than not try to find surrogate mothers for their child that does not promise a healthy husband-wife relationship."
However this is not a universal conclusion. Even if the second marriage begins on a contractual note of an immediate need, it cannot hold for long without love and affection. "It has to grow into affection and respect for each other; strengthening the emotional bond between the spouses," adds Dr. Bhavna.
There is still a stigma attached with an individual's 'divorced' status in the matrimonial market. Families and friends perceive them as 'second hand merchandise'.
After suffering an abusive marriage, Reena, 38, gathered courage to move out of her first marriage and begin a new life with another man. She was happy but her new in-laws could not accept her. She laments, "My in-laws feel that I may lodge a police complaint anytime, the way I did in the first marriage. They are a little apprehensive towards me."
Many a times it happens that someone who gets married to a divorcee faces adjustment issues in a social circuit that hesitates to change loyalties with the earlier partner and perceives the current with resentment and hostile behaviour. As a new member he/she gets subjected to embarrassment and neglect.
From a 'nuclear' to 'unclear' family
Asha Prabhakar, aged 52, government employee and a mother of two entered a new alliance 12 years back and was content, until the time her kids (from first marriage) grew up to a level of maturity and wisdom. "My kids have never addressed their new father as dad. I married him out of love but my kids could not see another dad in him. There is still resentment and I don't know how to resolve it."
Family scenario is such that the mother has lost all authority over her children. Dr. Khurana says, "The wife has to go through a period of agony in such cases. Kids would call their father by first name to register their objection to the marriage."
Reeta calls this trend a movement from "nuclear family to 'unclear' family" where kids from other parents find it difficult to adjust with new parents. She, however, believes that second marriages need not be strenuous all the time. "There are remedies too. Send the kids to boarding school/hostels or grandparents' place. This way the present matrimonial phase can develop into a stronger bond."
The day our mindset nurtures positive thoughts and learns to be receptive with a changed outlook, things would definitely change for better.
GURGAON: A 32-year-old former employee of consultancy major Aon Hewitt has accused a director of the company of raping her inside his office chamber in the company's Gurgaon office.
The woman, who was an operations manager at the company's Noida branch but also spent time in the Gurgaon office, has alleged that the director often called her to his cabin and "indulged in activities which can be defined as rape according to the new legislation". She also accused two other senior officials of calling her to their cabin and making her watch porn and molesting her.
Investigating officer Vijay Kumar of Sushant Lok police station said the woman filed a zero FIR at the R K Puram police station in Delhi. This was later transferred to Gurgaon. A zero FIR is one which can be registered on the basis of a woman's complaint at any police station irrespective of jurisdiction.
There is no mention of date of the incident. An FIR under sections 376, 354, 34 of IPC (rape and molestation) has been lodged against the accused. Two female employees of the company have been charged with conspiracy.
Police commissioner Alok Mittal said, "We have received the FIR from the Delhi police and matter is under investigation. The call centre has also filed a complaint with local police expressing suspicion that this employee is planning to create trouble. We have lodged the FIR but the exact picture will be clear after the investigation."
When contacted, an Aon Hewitt spokesperson said in a mailed response: "(The woman) was terminated from employment on December 3, 2013. Following a complaint received, Aon Hewitt conducted an internal investigation which found that she had not adhered to the rules, regulations and policies of the company. "Subsequently, (the woman) filed a complaint against Aon Hewitt and its senior management on December 7 at the R K Puram Police Station in New Delhi. We believe this to be a reaction to her termination and possible retaliation to events that led to her termination. We are committed to working with the authorities to address the allegations that have been made."
Aon Hewitt, formerly known as Hewitt Associates, is headquartered in Chicago, US. It operates 500 offices in 120 countries providing consulting, outsourcing, and reinsurance brokerage services. Aon took over Hewitt's operations in October 2010 and created a new subsidiary, Aon Hewitt.
A forum of men's rights organisations Saturday urged all political parties to include in their manifestos the formation of a "men's ministry" and a "men's rights" panel to address issues concerning Indian males.
The National Coalition for Men (NCM) - a forum of 50 organisations fighting for male rights across the country - launched its own manifesto here expressing concern over the steady rate of "innocent men" falling victims to "gender biased" laws.
Titled "Men-ifesto", it carries a host of issues concerning males and the need for governmental provisions to address those issues.
"It's time for the country to introspect that just to prove ourselves gender neutral, haven't we become anti-male? The need is to create a men's ministry and a men's rights body to bring out gender equality and social justice," said NCM convener Amit Gupta.
The NCM will meet political parties across the country and urge them to acknowledge men's rights in their manifestos.
Observing that men's welfare has been traditionally ignored by governments, the NCM expressed concern over the rapid increase in the misuse of "gender biased" laws which have led to men committing suicide in many instances.
"When the complainant is a woman, in every case, men are presumed guilty until they are proven innocent. Even a frivolous accusation against a man makes him lose his job, is looked down upon by the society and is treated like a criminal," Gupta said.
Some of the NCM's demands include making laws including the Domestic Violence Act gender neutral so as to protect men against domestic violence and rehabilitation of men who are acquitted.
It also demanded a mechanism to facilitate speedy trial of undertrials languishing in jails and equal and unbridled rights to child custody among others.
